Penn Medicine Provides Parents Tools to Grieve and Heal After Loss

The loss of a baby during pregnancy or delivery or within the first months after birth is its own kind of grief.

Through its Community Wellness Program, Penn Medicine Princeton Health offers a space and opportunity for families to come together in a moving and dignified ceremony to share their sorrow.

Names are read, one by one. Parents walk quietly to the front of the room to place a candle in memory of a baby — or babies — they lost. By the light of glowing candles, families sing songs, recite prayers, and share memories. Families who wish to can also have photos taken, dress their baby, have footprints and handprints made, and receive a memory box.

Perinatal loss is not uncommon in the United States. Nearly 30 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage and 21,000 babies are stillborn each year. Additionally, more than three of every 1,000 babies born die before 28 days of life and more than five of every 1,000 dies before their first birthday.

A growing number of hospitals are acknowledging that reality and the increased risk it poses to parents for depression, anxiety, and complicated grief that can last for years.

Infant Remembrance Day, which goes by other names as well, is a compassionate tool to help families grieve well, heal, and thrive once again.

Bernadette Flynn-Kelton, BSN, RN, outpatient bereavement coordinator with the Community Wellness Program at Penn Medicine Princeton Health, has a simple message for families struggling with the loss of their child.

“We will never forget your babies. We will always be here.”